SporkChubb Handcuff Key

"No really, officer -- it's just a spork!"

This is for when you get into trouble harassing people with other Sporks of Fury. Er -- I mean, this is for authorized law enforcement officers who like to eat on the go.

(Seriously, though: I have no idea if this is real, but if it is then don't even think about trying to use them to get out of a situation you've been put into lawfully. But if you're kidnapped, cuffed, and thrown in the trunk, then maybe this could be your out!)