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The Spooky Branch Manager
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Hello. I'm The Spooky Branch Manager (Please, don't ask about the glow, it's just my metabolism). I'm looking for a low-maintenance, high-visibility spot on your desk. I won't steal your pens, I won't hog the microwave, and I promise to be the quietest co-worker you’ve ever had. My only job is to stand here, look vaguely menacing, and hold your future contacts with my gnarled, dependable branches. I’m surprisingly lightweight at only 20g, but I come with a very heavy sense of corporate dread. Hire me. Your business needs a little soul... and I've got plenty of those.
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