Turd Gauge

Are you tired of wondering “is that the BIGGEST poop I have had this month?”Well, wonder no more!I decided to make an all-in-one gauge for measuring the 2nd most important body function. It measures girth and length of your black pickles for you to log into your diary or share in a status update with your friends.This medical instrument was calibrated based on average American size and diet. You might need to calibrate to your body functions.Use for medical diagnostics, bragging rights, or just