Turd Gauge

Are you tired of wondering “is that the BIGGEST poop I have had this month?”Well, wonder no more!I decided to make an all-in-one gauge for measuring the 2nd most important body function. It measures girth and length of your black pickles for you to log into your diary or share in a status update with your friends.This medical instrument was calibrated based on average American size and diet. You might need to calibrate to your body functions.Use for medical diagnostics, bragging rights, or just a conversation piece for the center of your dining table. Note: with daily usage, it is recommended to wash once a week.Not food grade quality.Do not insert into body.Not to be used for animals or fish.Perfect gift idea! Don't bother wrapping. When at get-togethers and gatherings at someone else's house, be sure to pop into the bathroom first and leave one of these on back of toilet. With the next visitor to bathroom, it will be sure to prod interesting conversations. For more interest,