Weird Cactus

Do you have need of a cactus? Perhaps a strange, otherworldly cactus that despite its mutant appearance, still triggers faint recollection of having seen it in real life in pictures of the high desert somewhere long ago?

Then I have a cactus for you. In fact, I may have the only cactus for you. Most cacti won't cut it for needs such as those. But if you need a cactus that your characters can hide behind while shooting it out with rad-ghouls or machine husks from before The Last War, a cactus that leaves no question you are truly in strange and incomprehensible places, then no other cactus will do. This one might not either, but hey, it's a cactus. It's not like I'm going to get a visit from the IRS for embellishing an artistic depiction of a semi-fictional plant that I'm giving away for free.

But you really should try this cactus, it's pretty cool.